Letter to My 10-Year Old Self

Dear baby girl,

First of all, I miss you. I miss all those things you did before that I can’t able to do now. Before, all you just do is play whatever you want without stressing and overthinking things so much like what I do now. Now I know the importance of an afternoon nap, the thing that you hated to do before. I miss you don’t even care how you look because being beautiful is not important that’s why insecurity of other’s physical beauty is not in your vocabulary. I miss how you dream big and create the goals that you are so confident that I can do without difficulties.

Look at me, I don’t know if you’ll be proud of me for what I already achieved right now but I hope so. Because you once dream that you want to be smart, to graduate in high school with medals and certificates, to be qualified to get enrolled in a university with a high-quality education, and to show the world how you shine.

You know what? Fighting my own battles silently was never been easy for me in order to achieve that dream. Sometimes I wish you appear in a while and comfort me reminding me how fighter and courageous I am. Even though you’re so stubborn before, but I’m still happy to tell you that I’m matured now and I can able to handle complicated things more than you can do before. I already know how to travel to the city on my own, the thing that you’re feared to do before. I already have some National IDs and applying for part-time work without someone accompanying me, the thing that you are curious about before, but now I can explain it to you. I can smile cheerfully now, the thing that you did rarely before.

Most of all, I want to thank you for letting me experience how beautiful being in a childhood stage. I thank you for letting our parents to discipline you and cut the bad attitude you had. I thank God for turning you into a woman who has a great fear in Him and being empowered by His words. You are so precious to me baby girl. Because of you, I became what I am right now. Even though there are already things that you don’t understand that I can able now explain to you through my life’s experience, but I still continue learning.

I am so happy because you never do things before that will destroy me in the present. I am so glad to tell you that you grew up and that happened because of all those challenges that you’ve survived, just like a plant watered by rain and storms but still grown beautifully. Now I already realize what are those challenges for. Thank you for dreaming big before that even I struggle on how to achieve them now, I’m still determined to pursue them for you because I want you to be proud of me baby girl. Because you really deserve it and that is my gift for you and our parents. Yes, you were born poor, but I won’t let that you will still end up being poor. Lastly, always remember baby girl that though we have big differences now in physical appearance, in style, in perspectives, in choices; but whatever may happen in my life and no matter how the situation and time change me, there is one thing that would never change, that is our identity. We shared the same name, birth, and blood, that’s why my success is also your success. I love you, baby girl.

Yours truly,

The 20- years old version of you